Every month one of our clever and talented writers gets highly intoxicated and writes us a rambling drunken review. To celebrate the festive season, Andrew Shelley consumed vast amounts of alcohol and settled down to get intimate with James Blunt’s 2003 debut, Back To Bedlam. Witness him get really in to ‘Blunters’, mistake classic track ‘Wisemen’ for ‘WiseMan’, and present you with the written result. Spoiler alert: things got emotional.

When you’re 15 pints in, far too many sambuccas, and when you’re flat mate cracks opens a bottle of Prosseco, and the one and only Back To Bedlam is banging, you know you’re in dreamland. Feeling insanely hammered but at the same time keeping shit real, ‘High’ is blaring at the highest notch possible. ‘Tears and Rain’ is just a fucking Van Gogh Da Vinci motherfuckin’ mixture of freaaaaaaky ssssssssssseeexy fables and painting, but music.

This is so much good listen and we’re not even at the end of the allllbuuum. This is a fucking track. Me, I, Myself, I am Andrew and I am hiiiiigh on this track…. If feeling hurt and broken up, there is no better place to be, cutting deep, and slashing the heart in the most delicate of places. Blunters has a fantastic fucking vocal which makes everyone in the room coincide in beautiful fucking appreciation that makes my balls.

Blunters fantastic fucking vocal makes my balls.

The atmosphere of the room trembles with James Blunt’s lyrics it has evoked pirates throughout the ambience. I’ve got chills. They’re multiplying. And I’m losing control.

Seriously though, the lyrical quality of this seminal album creates an atmosphere so invariably tantalising to the ear that anyone would forget their dearest childhood memories in favour of Blunt’s impeccable originality. Nothing created will ever match the recklessness this 10-track invoked, and continues to invoke, in new listeners of popular music. Period. I AM SO DRUNK. I came here to kick some ass and drink my limoncello, and I’m all out of limoncello.

These lyrics have a  divine similarity to Blur.

‘WiseMan’ massive tune, definitely getting involved in Blunters.

I could cry so much that the shortage of water in suburban towns becomes a non-issue because James’ album is so crying sad songs.

I’m beautiful, your beautiful, so are you, yes and you. And don’t forget you James. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Own it.

Mellow people, sing it to me, cry with me, dance with the smile like the sun smiles every morning. Live up to your own expectations. You can make it through I have every faith in you you are SPECIAL!…… YEEEEESSSSSSS

The music has taken a turn, no more James. Where have you gone?

Andrew Shelly @A_Shelley11

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